January 15, 2015 1 Comment
If you read this regularly, you probably know that this year I spent a lot of time being depressed. And when I wasn’t busy being depressed, I was busy writing about being depressed. So this week I’m going to try something different. End things off on something other than a downer note. I hereby present to you a highlight of things that made me feel good manic, incredibly inspired and or funny down there during the last year. Celebrity citing included/exploited!
1. Todd Barry gave me a compliment.
This year was the first time since Grade 11 film studies that I actually put together a video. (See above.) I wrote it with actor Ayma Letang, and got funnymen/hornymen Cam Mcleod and Ryan Steele to co-star with us. Our friend Kar Harvey did a superb job shooting and editing it, despite having little experience, and our beautiful buds at Daughters of Dawn provided the sexy outfits to accommodate each one of our polar opposite personalities. (Yes, those were plugs.)
It was probably one of the best days I had this year and the end result is one I’m really proud of.
Perhaps the most interesting part of the story (for me) is that I bugged my friend who’s friends with Todd Barry to email him and ask him what he thought, because I’m annoying like that. (For those who aren’t comedy nerds and don’t know who Todd Barry is, he’s this guy.) I assumed he would hate it since I assume all comedians hate anything that doesn’t involve them, and was hoping to use his negative reaction in an exploitative way. Turns out, he thought it was funny, which gave me a sense of purpose, acceptance and accomplishment that only an “icky” man in his late 40 could make me feel. (Icky is in quotes because it’s someone else’s words, not mine. I think he’s pretty cute.) Now I’m trying to convince him to let me interview him, and he’s on the fence, and I’m one step away from starting a Facebook petition or something to get him to agree to it. Would you sign it? Actually, would you start it for me? I’m too lazy.
2. I was invited to apply for several of my dream jobs. (I didn’t get them.)
It’s awesome when things come to you, particularly things that happen to involve your dreams coming true. You know, rather than you having to put yourself out there, raw and exposed, and then obsessively overanalyze everything that you could have done wrong while you wait for a response you might never get.
Anyhow, I was invited to put my name in the running for several big opportunities this year, which was, quite simply, thrilling. A thrill I hadn’t felt for a long time, if ever. I didn’t get these opportunities but it made me feel like I’m on the right path and I’m on the radar of some important, powerful people. Looking forward to seeing what happens next.
3. I found a muse who wasn’t scared of me.
This summer I met and connected with someone who might as well be the closest thing to the male version of myself. Self-aware, obsessed with his flaws, ambitious, detrimentally charming. A writer.
I met this fellow at a point in my life when I was actively trying to change my habits and behaviours when it came to the fellas. And he represents everything I want to avoid. Quite simply, he’s just not that into me. Predictably, he’s more into girls who look like Anime characters and aren’t jaded, self-aware, or older than 25.
So, I use him as my muse. I value our time together and make use of what comes from it, on the page, afterwards. It’s not a physical thing.
And since he’s a self-absorbed narcissist, he’s totally down with his role in my life. This makes him the first man I’ve become obsessed with who’s truly on the same page.
It’s a fun, healthy and exciting exchange and I’m excited to see where it goes, creatively. If it actually goes anywhere. He’s easily distracted. As am I.
4. I met the (animal) love of my life.
My 2010 resolution was to try to stop molding men into what I wanted them to be and instead get a dog. It’s a long, beautiful and inspiring story that I’ll save for the right time, but basically I found my animal soulmate, who just happened to have gotten her PhD in cute. I’ve heard people talk about how when you meet the right person you just know and I always want to tell them to fuck off because I clearly can’t relate, but with Dutchie (my dog) I totally get it. I knew it was the real thing the moment I saw her. I can’t even write anything snarky or sarcastic, that’s how pure our love is. She’s my dog baby. My baby who just happens to be a dog. PLUS, she’s so special that she got accepted to be a St. John’s Ambulance therapy dog, which is actually a really tough process. This not only proves how remarkable she is, but also makes me look like a good person by association.
5. I changed my perspective.
Someone (who I pay to listen to my problems professionally) suggested recently that I stop putting so much focus on long-term goals, and try to put that energy into short-term ones. At first I panicked, thinking that my long-term goals would never be accomplished. Then I realized she had a point. I’ve read enough issues of Oprah’s magazine and known enough people who’ve gone to rehab to understand that living day-by-day, or even moment-to-moment is where it’s at. It takes a lot of time, patience and practice to shift this deep-rooted habit of never being present (or happy) but it’s coming together. And as a result, I’m a lot happier. At least for now.
I’m wishing you an happy 2011. I wanna hear about your resolutions and I wanna know what mine should be. Leave me a comment or write me an email at email@example.com
I love hearing from you. Happy New Year!
December 29, 2010 1 Comment