Don’t think about not thinking

The only thing worse than the shitty weather my province is experiencing right now is complaining about it. But somehow, we’ve got to fill the time we’d otherwise be spending getting baked at the beach, ogling attractive people in little clothing. So here we go.

The shit weather got in the way of my getaway plans last week. I went up to the island to a friend’s cabin on a lake. Even though the forecast called for 12 degrees and rain the whole time I was expected up there, I packed a bikini, sunscreen and sandals with hopes the Weather Network wasn’t entirely accurate.

But it was.

I spent the entire time indoors, getting cabin fever. So instead of worrying about how I was going to simultaneously tan while eating potato salad, I spent a lot of time worrying about other things. Namely how miserable my career has been the last few months, how directionless I am, how alone I am, how long it’s been since I’ve been in a serious, long-term relationship, how hard it’s been for me to connect with people lately, how isolated I’m making myself and how attached I am to my dog. This is totally what the Fresh Prince was getting at when he sang about summertime.

One night, while watching TV inside and not sitting getting cozy around a campfire, I caught an interview with Deepak Chopra on the George Strombo show. I followed Mr. Chopra on Twitter for a bit but he retweeted too much so I stopped following him. But I get his deal. He’s helped a lot of people, including Lady Gaga and Michael Jackson, reach a better place. Since I wasn’t feeling like I was in such a great place, I didn’t change the channel.

He talked about taking LSD and how he was friends with the Beatles. Then he said the way to a happier existence was just to be.

“We’re human BEINGS,” he said. Then he guaranteed that if people were able to just be, everything in their lives would just fix itself. Instead of thinking, we should be being.

Don’t think. Just be.

When I think about the idea of not thinking, I think about a few things. The first is a shirt I borrowed from an ex that I never gave back. It’s from the improv troupe Upright Citizens Brigade. On the front is a pair of eyes. On the back, it says “Don’t Think,” which is the first rule in improv comedy.

I also think about the time this girl I had bad judgment about befriending, took home this guy I had recently broken up with. When I confronted her about it, her excuse was “I wasn’t thinking.”

Years ago, when I was a full-time reporter, I worked on a story about an explosion at a mushroom farm. In the story, I wrote that one of the men in the accident had died, when in fact he was in critical condition. When questioned about my terrible mistake, one of the worst kind you kind make as a journalist, all I could say was “I wasn’t thinking.”

So not thinking not only equates to a popular comedy technique and bad mistakes but also to an enlightened way of living. Okay.

While I like the idea of not thinking and the changes it can theoretically bring to my life, I haven’t a clue how to go about it. At least in ways that don’t involve getting blackout drunk or being hypnotized or reverting back to infancy, before my neurons have fully developed.

But it’s certainly something that I’ll keep in the back of my mind and perhaps even put into action, while I keep thinking of ways to change and live a happier existence. But before that, I have a lot of other things to think about.  Namely how miserable my career has been the last few months, how directionless I am, how alone I am, how long it’s been since I’ve been in a serious, long-term relationship, how hard it’s been for me to connect with people lately, how isolated I’m making myself and how attached I am to my dog.

Okay readers. Who here doesn’t think? I’d like to hear your tips on how I can stop thinking, because thinking is making me fucking miserable. Leave a comment or email me privately at write@eliannalev.com ALSO…if you like my writing, share it on Facebook, please!

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